Reclaiming Our Calling

Why Women Should Embrace Biblical Gender Roles

“As women, our power comes from serving and nurturing.” -Savannah Stone

The first wave of feminism swept across the country in the mid-nineteenth century. It began as a movement to give women equality and a voice, but it evolved into a lie that has destroyed our culture; a lie that says in order to be worthy of anything, women need to be the bigger person, the CEO who walks in the room and every eye goes to her. It’s the lie that says women need to pursue an impressive career that will give self-gratification and a sense of accomplishment. It’s the lie that says women are forced to marry and have children, that giving up your own selfish ambitions means throwing away your life.

Feminism began as a call for equality, but as time has gone by, our modern feminism is no longer the same as what it originally was. But just like so much of our world, modern feminism requires us to abandon our biblical gender roles. It calls women to masculine roles that make them look independent and tough. It gives girls and women a temporary high, feeling like they don’t need anyone or anything but themselves, because they are strong enough to help themselves. It convinces women that they are the bigger person, that there is satisfaction in satisfying self. That before they can love anyone else, they first have to love themselves more than anything.

But, I come before you today to remind you of an age-old secret, a beautiful lifestyle that brings satisfaction through simplicity, a key to an abundant life that can only be achieved through dying to self and loving others first, as Christ first loved us. Our Heavenly Father created his children to live fruitful lives filled with love, humility and fulfillment. The only way to live the way we were created is to live in our God-given roles. I am here today to outline those biblical roles as women of God and say that, in contrast to the culture’s standard for women to put themselves first, women should embrace the biblical roles of wife, mother or homemaker.

My paper defines “biblical role” as our individually gifted responsibilities as children of God, created by God. It’s the beautifully perfect calling that God placed in our very DNA when he created us male and female in Genesis 1:27. “So God created human beings in his own image in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

I’ve defined wife as a woman who is united with a man in the lawful bonds of wedlock, with roles which include submission to her husband, love, and partnership in building a godly home and family. A wife supports and respects her husband, and lifts him up to follow his calling in life.

I define “mother” as a woman who nurtures and loves children, whether her own or adopted. A mother sets a godly example for her children to follow and points them in the way of Christ. She teaches them right from wrong, and trains them to likewise fulfill their own biblical roles.

Finally, I have defined “homemaker” as a woman who creates environments of love, safety and harmony in which individuals can flourish. A homemaker cultivates family meals, a loving home and places where people can encounter the love of Christ through the simple ways of life.

This brings me to my first point; women should embrace the biblical role of wife. Genesis 2:24 states; “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Marriage is an age-old union, a beautiful commitment which a man and a woman make to one another before the One who created them. It is in our very inner being to long for that commitment. It is natural to want a spouse. Strong, faithful women of God long for a man who will lead her in ways of righteousness, provide for their family and always be there for her. Our job as wives is to respect, honor and love our husbands.

Because I am outlining biblical gender roles, I feel that it is imperative we read what the Bible says women of God do within their roles.

Proverbs 31:10-14 “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar.”

As you can clearly see, these verses have described a wife as virtuous and capable, servant-hearted and dependent, yet confident and independent. Getting married does not mean throwing away your freedom or your unique gifts. Rather, it is designed to bring freedom knowing that you have a partner and helpmate in life, someone who will always have your back.

Marriage was one of the very first things God outlined after creating Adam and Eve. I believe He did this because it is near and dear to His heart. Jesus even compared His relationship with the church to the union between a man and a woman. From marriage can come children, a blessing from the Lord. This brings me to my second point that women should embrace the role of mother.

Proverbs 31:25-31, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: ‘There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”

As a woman, I can’t imagine a more beautiful calling than to be a mother. Motherhood is a life changing journey of unconditional love, selflessness, and unwavering dedication. It is the opportunity to raise warriors of the faith who will do great things for our Lord. Motherhood is not a season, it is a lifelong commitment to point children toward Christ by praying for them, training them in wisdom and modeling honorable faith and character.

I believe it can be selfish to not have children. God charged us with a responsibility, and if we choose to ignore it and go our own way to pursue more pleasurable options, we are being incredibly selfish. Motherhood is the very definition of selflessness. My own mother has always told me that “it no longer matters what your needs are, instead you give everything for your children until you think you can’t give anymore.” And she has demonstrated that throughout her everyday life. When her children need something, her own needs have always been put on a back burner. I would not be who I am today if she hadn’t sacrificed everything for me. And because of her sacrifice, I can do the same for my own children someday. Rejecting our calling is selfish, and choosing to not have children because they would hinder you from a career or living life, would be throwing away an incredible opportunity to experience one of the most beautiful journeys a woman could embark on.

I can’t think of a more Christ-like occupation. If Jesus gave his very life for us, His children, the least we can do is fulfill the calling he has placed on our lives and give up our own needs for our children. But don’t worry, even though motherhood means completely emptying yourself of you, God will always be there to fill you up when you feel empty, when you feel that you can’t go on and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. When we devote ourselves to living in our calling, we create an environment where our children can flourish and grow, creating a generational strength that will benefit generations of children we won’t even meet in our lifetime.

Thirdly, women should embrace the biblical role of homemaker.
Proverbs 31:15-24 says, “She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.”

An article from www.onehomelyhome.com said, “The role of the homemaker carries with it a special womanly dignity. It makes the wife the queen of her little kingdom, her home. It gives her responsibility to care for her family: feeding them, clothing them, keeping the house neat and clean, and making their home a haven. Homemaking allows the husband to exercise chivalry by working to provide for his wife and family. It shows the children how mothers and fathers can maintain a strong and healthy relationship by their mutually supportive roles.”

God has given us special responsibilities, and one of these is to create environments for people to flourish, including ourselves. I’m not saying you need to have three home-cooked meals a day, a squeaky clean house and a big gathering every week. Rather, a homemaker has the calling to cultivate a culture where individuals feel safe, loved and free to be themselves, and to host the presence of God so others can encounter Him. Being a homemaker also includes the stereotypical cooking and cleaning, but it is so much more than that! It all comes down to the heart behind the mundane, the servant-hearted efforts.

I would now like to address some counter arguments to my thesis. When it comes to this topic, there are many strong feelings and opinions. A commonly recurring statement is that women had to fight for legal rights to be equal with men, in voting and land ownership, so they should not submit to them in domestic relationships.

Yes, women had to fight for legal rights to vote and own land, but they were fighting societal norms, not men. Women often didn’t see the need to vote because they were in agreement with their husbands, who placed the vote for the family.

But now that women have equal rights with men, that type of feminism isn’t needed anymore. Instead, it has grown into a dark lie that has changed our whole perspective on marriage, mothering and homemaking. It’s not about women being equal with men anymore, it has taken on a rebellious nature, a rebellion against God’s perfect design. Now it demands that women abandon their families and home in order to pursue masculine endeavors, leaving the feminine roles God created them for vacant.

Let’s look at the old definition of feminism versus the modern definition.

“Old feminism,” typically referring to first-wave feminism, is a historical period (late 19th and early 20th centuries) focused on achieving legal equality for women, particularly suffrage (the right to vote) and property rights. It’s characterized by a focus on formal equality, aiming to grant women the same rights and opportunities as men in legal and political sphere.” pacificu.edu

“Modern feminism encompasses a broad range of beliefs and practices advocating for the equality of all genders, dismantling patriarchal structures, and challenging traditional gender roles.” ABCnews.go.com

As you can see, there is a drastic difference between the two, one in which women wanted equality, versus one in which women want power. If I have learned one thing, it is that the world will always try to fill you up with life-sucking, temporary pleasures that leave you completely empty at the end of the day, but our Lord and Savior offers lifelong fulfillment through the emptying of ourselves and replacing our selfish ambitions with His humble callings on our lives.

Another statement that culture throws out while discussing the topic of biblical gender roles is that women should pursue a career and live her life before getting married or having children.

I agree that it’s fine to pursue a career and personal goals before you are married, but it is better to pursue them as a couple. People rarely achieve great things without a support system.

Many people believe getting married and starting a family is the equivalent to throwing away your life. Many women want to live their life first before getting married, because they want to focus on personal growth and career goals before marriage, prioritizing financial stability, educational attainment, and self-discovery. But how much more fulfilling would those things be if you achieved them with a partner?

Challies.com stated, “There is something sweet and significant about building a life together. While there is nothing wrong with building separate lives and then combining them in your late twenties or thirties, it is a special joy to begin with nothing and build it all as a couple. It is powerfully counter-cultural to not only reject cohabitation, but to embrace marriage. Everyone expects you will get married someday, but few expect you will get married until you have tried many partners and trialed many relationships. Young marriage testifies to God’s plan for men and women to form exclusive and lifelong partnerships—to not only choose to build a life with another person but to forever reject all other possibilities by deliberately closing out your options. Such a decision is guaranteed to provoke interesting and biblically-based conversations.”

If, when life gets rough, you have a person to lean on, someone who understands and knows you well, someone who has built all these things with you, then these shared accomplishments become a strong foundation for your marriage.

If you want to have the biggest impact you will realize that you have to invest into the future generations to come. Even though you may not reap the harvest of your labor, your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren will. I have seen this in my own family, it is because of their daily sacrifices, whether seen or unseen, that it is possible for me to flourish and reap the benefits of their choice to remain faithful to the Lord and His plan for their lives. It is because of the generations before me choosing to remain married, loving each other through thick and thin, that I now have a clear understanding of biblical marriage, and I can’t wait to be married someday. It is because of my great-grandparents and grandparents deciding to have children and raise them in the way of Christ that I have been protected and wisely guided throughout my life. And because of that, I cannot wait for the day when I will have my own children. It is because my family has created beautiful environments of love, safety and peace that I too look forward to the day when my future husband and I can cultivate places of belonging, and host others in our home. Even if you have not had multiple generations building this inheritance for you, you can still be the first in your family line to plant the seeds of love and sacrifice, knowing future generations will be blessed by your faithfulness as you step into your God-given calling.

The Proverbs 31 Woman was very entrepreneurial. She made money and sold things, but the difference was her career was family-oriented. The problem with modern feminism is it persuades you into thinking that your career should be at the top of your priority list. That as a woman, the most important thing you will ever do is make your own fortune, or pursue that title, or acquire that degree. They teach that we can only have one or the other, that you either have to be a career woman, working all day long to make the money in which you find your identity and security, or you are a homemaker. If you aren’t out being successful and proving to society that you are powerful, you are at home changing dirty diapers and scrubbing floors.

Modern feminism belittles marriage, it belittles motherhood. They say that when you get married and have children, you have to give up your life, that you can’t do the things you love outside of the home. Yes, you will have to make sacrifices, because it is called sacrificial love, but it is the most fulfilling thing you will ever do as a human created in God’s very own image.

When you are eighty years old, sitting in your rocking chair on the front porch, and you have all your little grandchildren playing in the front yard, you’re not going to turn to your spouse and say, “I’m so glad I got that title when I was thirty, instead you’re going to say, “Look at this legacy we are leaving. Look at all these beautiful children that we have raised.”

Don’t get me wrong, I know that that not every woman will find a husband, but she can still be motherly to other women and girls who need someone to look up to. And she can still be a homemaker who creates environments for herself and others to flourish and experience the love of Jesus in.

To conclude, I would like to quote a Bible verse that sums up my thesis.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. So now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Though it may seem redundant, God created women to be wives, mothers and homemakers, and it is only when we step into those roles that we will find satisfaction and fulfillment in a world of empty pleasures. I call you to action, I call you to be biblical wives, mothers and homemakers who don’t care what the world says, who aren’t ashamed to say that their biggest dream in life is to get married and have children, who aren’t afraid to fight for their families, and what they know is true. I am calling all women to take a stand against societal norms that convince us to pull ourselves up to an unrealistic height that says we are powerful.

So, will you join me in the fight to reclaim our calling? Will you say yes to the beautiful, life-giving roles that our Creator has placed on our lives? Will you help lift one another up when one is weak, and lean on others when you yourself are weary? Will you say yes to changing the world by planting stable roots in God’s word for future generations to follow? Will you stand with the statement;

“In contrast to the culture’s standard for women to put themselves first, women should embrace the biblical roles of wife, mother or homemaker.”